Is that braggy?

Family Guy

I’m watching Family Guy right now. I watch a lot of Family Guy. A LOT. Never before has television offered me so many opportunities to watch the same show over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. “That’s a ton of overs! He must be exaggerating,” you say to yourself. Well, I wouldn’t joke about something as serious as the unhealthy amount of TV I watch. To the empirical data!

SUNDAY 1 original-run epsiode on FOX, 8 PM / 2 reruns on Adult Swim, 9:30 & 10 PM

MONDAY 2 reruns on WCFN, 6 & 6:30 PM / 6 reruns on TBS, 7-10 PM / 1 rerun on Adult Swim, 10 PM

TUESDAY 2 reruns on WCFN, 6 & 6:30 PM / 4 reruns on TBS, 7-9 PM / 2 reruns on Adult Swim, 10 & 10:30 PM

WEDNESDAY 2 reruns on WCFN, 6 & 6:30 PM / 2 reruns on TBS, 7 & 7:30 PM / 2 reruns on Adult Swim, 10 & 10:30 PM

THURSDAY 2 reruns on WCFN, 6 & 6:30 PM / 2 reruns on Adult Swim, 10 & 10:30 PM

FRIDAY 2 reruns on WCFN, 6 & 6:30 PM / 1 rerun on Adult Swim, 10 PM

SATURDAY 2 reruns on WCFN, 6 & 6:30 PM

My calculator tells me that I have the opportunity to watch 35 episodes of Family Guy a week. If you want to put that number in perspective, there are 95 episodes currently in syndication. In theory, I could watch the entire run of Family Guy through season six in about 19 days. I could watch every syndicated episode 20 times in a year.

This is bad news for a few reasons.

1) I have all these episodes on DVD literally less than 10 feet away from me. I could watch any episode at any time. Yet, I can’t remember the last time I watched an episode on DVD. This means I could spend inordinate amounts of time watch other TV shows, instead of 17 hours of Family Guy a week.

2) Of course, I could also do things that aren’t watching TV, I guess…

2a) But that might require me to leave the house.

3) Family Guy isn’t exactly the pinnacle of haute culture, so it’s a sad commentary that this is the most accessible program, outside of the omnipresent Law & Order franchise. I would write more social commentary here, but it bores me…

4) It’s taking precious time slots that could be showing The Office or The Simpsons. Hell, I have barely seen a syndicated episode of The Simpsons since I began working full-time.

5) If they ran The Office 35 times a week, I would probably watch it MORE voraciously than Family Guy. Because The Office is GREAT. I’m seriously considering turning this tumblr account into a gushing Office fan site. I would write fan fiction and list all the things Dwight says that were just HILARIOUS and link them to audio clips (LOL, copyright infringement!!!). I would put up polls like

Who’s the cutest Office couple?